In support of the project against harrasment to woment.
Rather than street harrasment or eve-teasing I would dedicate the first post in the series to harrasment against women in general. In the entire life cycle of a girl from the time she is born till the time she departs from this world she is subjected to harrasment in all forms.
Let me start from the time the girl gets married and moves to her in-laws house and complete with the next generation girl getting married.
Let me name the girl as Tanja and Sonia (no relevance to dead or alive person, its purely my thoughts)
Once the Tanja gets married she is from that time on part of husbands family. Her in-laws look at her in suspicion on whatever she does and wherever she moves their eyes follow. Especially mother-in-law always loves to complain against whatever she does. If Tanja has to go out to buy something or meet her friends she has to get permission from MIL. The answer would mostly be a big NO. If Tanja goes to work and comes late in the night there is a round of suspicious glances and questions.
Her husband would always think twice before inviting Tanja’s friends (guys) to the house but he would invite his friends and ask Tanja to make coffee/tea and also some food.
If Tanja is in the low income family she is subjected to torture from her husband who would beat for money to have another round of liquor.
After some days/months/years Tanja gets pregnant and everyone congragulates her husband. Everyone is very sure that the kid is going to be a boy. They pay extra money to the doctor to detect whether the unborn kid is boy/girl.
The family decide to have the girl kid and so Sonia enters the world without any knowledge of what all she would have undergo.
Till age of three she is pampered in her family. At three when she goes to school her friends call her ‘fatso’. The first ever time she is harrased. Time goes and years move on. Sonia is slowly being thought how she should respect others and should learn to listen. She’s thought all this from Tanja who is training her so that she gets prepared when she gets married.
At age of 12 in school they think its play but boys like to pull girls hair. So Sonia is also part of this game. Sonia also thinks its fun when guys pull her hair or push her away. At 16 on the way to school some guys sitting on the wall whistle at her and pass comments. She runs away from there. Later in the evening she tells Tanja and is rightly advised that its all part of day and she should not pay attention to it. Next time they do it just walk fast without turning head.
Sonia understands reality the first time. Guys are born to whistle and pass comments, girls are to just walk and no point talking to anyone. She decides going with a guy would always be secure for he might protect her. Its very easy to find a guy and so does she. Everyday they both go together to school and home. One day this guy decides to call her to his house. She innocently goes and the guy tries to have sex with her. Sonia runs away from that place and now does not even want to tell her mom anything about it.
After few years she travels by bus for commuting to college from home and of course you can never find an empty bus or a bus which is only for ladies. She feels a hand that keeps rubbing at her and gets panicky. Days pass by and she now loses her senses and allows anyone to play around with her without any complaint.
The whistling and singing on songs when she passes by hasnt stopped. People still pass comments on her/about her. Its all still there. Just that now she has come to a point where there is no point complaining about it. How would she when her mom asks her not to pay much attention and the guy she moved around with only wanted to have sex with her.
At the age of 23 a groom is found for her from a decent family. After marriage she takes the role of Tanja and a new Sonia would soon be coming.
From the time of birth till the time she gets married, a girl is harrased by people of all kinds and from different sections. The method of harrasment is different. In the end if you see the guy sitting on the wall and whistling is actually the harmless guy. He only whistles and comments but never harrases physically.
Even this kind of harrasment is not acceptable and a guy should not indulge in this. Probably a time will come when he would stop but the other harrasment prevelant would never have an end.
Tags: blog-a-thon 2006